GProgress

Friends are always there, that doesn’t mean they’re there mentally.

Friends are always there, that doesn’t mean they’re there mentally. I like to think the people I know are smart and can fend for themselves. Heck, we all wish for that. But sometimes - sometimes - we just see how gullible they really can be. For example, what I saw today. I was feeling rather goofy, so I decided to whip up a quirky name - Tucker Balasubramaniam, pronounced “baal -ah -sue -brah -mon -ee -um”. I had no real reason to do it, so I put it in my MSN screen name. The response I got wasn’t quite what I had expected. What I did expect was people laughing, and saying how I was the funniest being alive and that everyone want’s to bear my children. But alas, the replies I got were nothing short of humorous.

At first I got this from a friend. Let’s refer to this friend as friend #1:

( 17:59:54 ) Friend #1: who’s that..
( 17:59:58 ) Friend #1: lol
( 18:00:12 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Who’s who?
( 18:00:15 ) Friend #1: tucker

Just as I was about to say it was a joke name I made up out of boredom, I decided a cure for my boredom wasn’t far off; I’d keep this story going. Let’s get into the Tucker Balasu…whatever mentality. Here’s what I replied with, and how the conversation went with friend #1:

( 18:00:17 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Me.
( 18:00:23 ) Friend #1: fill me in?
( 18:00:58 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Nothing to fill in.
( 18:01:00 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: It’s me.
( 18:01:09 ) Friend #1: how so
( 18:01:20 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: It’s my name.
( 18:01:44 ) Friend #1: since when
( 18:01:53 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: since I was born.
( 18:02:35 ) Friend #1: why do we call you zack pyle then

Notice the use of ‘k’.

( 18:02:46 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Nickname.
( 18:03:01 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: I’m finally ready to show my real name after so many years.
( 18:03:46 ) Friend #1: haha well i that’s good…. i can’t believe it? you actually Do seem like a Tucker.. sortof….
( 18:04:12 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Yea…hard to get used to I guess, since you’re so used to calling me Zach.
( 18:04:17 ) Friend #1: haha yeah, but Tucker’s nice.
( 18:04:24 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Thanks.
( 18:04:33 ) Friend #1: you’re welcome. Tucker B.
( 18:04:57 ) Friend #1: are you going to use your name in school too?
( 18:05:07 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: I’m not sure yet.
( 18:05:23 ) Friend #1: oh that’s interesting
( 18:05:48 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: I bet people will still call me Zach. <_ <
( 18:05:57 ) Friend #1: haha, probly. tucker is a good country boy name. it totally works.. i just think Tucker is totally a kid who's from south dakota.

Now I was having fun! I just got someone to believe my name was really Tucker Vanst… Balasubramaniam. I better keep that name in my clipboard. It’s challenging to type out all the time. I had to keep perpetuating this circle of lies. So I checked my online buddy list for anyone else who may take it in. I had already claimed one victim, why not two? This friend is someone we’ll call Friend #2:

( 19:50:16 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Tucker Balasubramaniam.
( 19:50:30 ) Friend #2: lol:P whats that
( 19:50:40 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: my name
( 19:52:09 ) Friend #2: whats it mean?
( 19:52:27 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Nothing, it’s my name.
( 19:53:07 ) Friend #2: like your real name?
( 19:53:29 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: yea
( 19:53:55 ) Friend #2: really?
( 19:54:11 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: yea
( 19:54:21 ) Friend #2: thats a long name
( 19:54:26 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: so?
( 19:55:18 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Zachary Pyle was a nickname I’ve been using. I didn’t really like my real name so I took an alias. but this year I’m going to finally reveal it.
( 19:57:47 ) Friend #2: aha! your joking!! im really like.. whats the word.. are you being serious?
( 19:58:14 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: I’m serious…you’re laughing at my name aren’t you..? This is what always happens..
( 19:58:44 ) Friend #2: no im not! are you joking??? no your notserious.. its fine..

Throw in a bit of emotional pain and you’ll hook ‘em. Heh.

( 19:58:53 ) Friend #2: whahhhhhhhhhhhhh im confused
( 19:58:56 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: I’m not joking..
( 19:59:10 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Tucker Balasubramaniam is my real name, given to me at birth.
( 20:00:59 ) Friend #2: are you serious?
( 20:01:02 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Yea
( 20:01:10 ) Friend #2: then why does everyone even teachers call you zach? im so confused
( 20:01:25 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Because I told everyone to, and my dad got them to change the records.

Surely when I said “my dad got them to change the records.”, that would give away I was joking. Obviously the school wouldn’t change my name on file, without proof that my name was changed to Zachary Pyle. Nope, it kept going…

( 20:01:54 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: I’m not even sure if I want the teachers to call me by my real name. My friends though…I have to.
( 20:05:40 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Can you call me Tucker? Just so it can fit in better when school starts.
( 20:05:57 ) Friend #2: oh god..:|
( 20:06:25 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: why are you so upset about this?
( 20:09:20 ) Friend #2: because im so confused
( 20:10:38 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Why? I was given the birth name Tucker Balasubramaniam, and I never liked it so I thought of a new name, “Zachary Pyle”, and got everyone to call me that…now I’m ready to open up and show my full Balasubramaniam name!
( 20:11:42 ) Friend #2: ok.. whats so wrong with that name
( 20:11:56 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: which name?
( 20:12:38 ) Friend #2: both
( 20:13:03 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Tuckr Balasubramaniam always had kids making fun of me. Zachary Pyle was my outlet to get rid of my frustration.
( 20:13:11 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.:Tucker*

Add in some sympathy lines, and WHAM! Plus, any fool who spells his own name wrong must be lying. Nope…

( 20:15:10 ) Friend #2: hmm… guess it makes sense i guess.. but anyways
( 20:15:25 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: So could you refer to me be my real name from now on?
( 20:15:35 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Don’t call me Zach anymore…I’m getting rid of it.
( 20:28:18 ) Friend #2: haha, ok
( 20:28:26 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: Thanks a bunch.
( 20:31:20 ) Tucker Balasubramaniam.: If you like, I could scan my birth certificate for you, to prove it…it doesn’t seem like you believe me.
( 20:31:35 ) Friend #2: lol ok do that

Now the pin has been pulled. Why did I take it so far? I’m not sure myself, but I had to see how far I could push the envelope. Now it was time to scan my birth certificate, alter the name on it, make it look real (or if I wanted, make it look doctored, to see if they notice), then send it to them both. It’z zee perfect le plan! [/bad-french-accent]

Tune in next time when I really get going with Tucker Balsawood…something.