GProgress

Ever had a stubborn fool try to pursuade you? You know how fanboying feels then.

Fanboying. Particularly strong across bulletin board systems (BBS). You will always encounter at least one of these uneducated buffoons. Perhaps you converse with one at work, or maybe at school. It may not matter how or when you met them, but what does matter is one thing: they are low level nuisances who want to convert every nay-sayer and anti-whatever’s to be completely engulfed by their “perfect” product.

How do I spot fanboying? Here is a question that on many levels seems rather challenging to identify, but there is always the basics:

• They create wild accusations against any rival product.
• They take criticism on the same level as if someone had murdered their entire family.

You think the last point is exaggerated? Then I guess you’ve never met a fanboy. Bask in whatever self-gratifying glory you may be feeding yourself, because trust me when I say this, that feeling will be quite short-lived.

Let’s take a normal conversation between two non-fanboy’s:

Person 1: “I enjoy Firefox because of it’s security, more current rendering engine, and because it simply disables ActiveX Controls, instead of just masking it like the other browsers tend to do.”

Person 2: “I have become aware of your opinion and respect them. I disagree with the me, although opinions are right, I shall say no more but this. I enjoy Internet Explorer Because of it’s wide use. All websites have been coded to display properly in Internet Explorer, so it makes browsing more visually pleasing.”

As you can tell, both people are respecting the other’s opinion. Although if you were to replace these two with psychotic fanboys, you’d get conversations that contain much more grammatical mistakes, swearing, flaming, and a general disregard for discussion ettiquette. These are the people you must avoid at any cost. Exposure to such conversations for an extended period of time may lead to headaches, broken keyboards, loss of consciousness, and loss of self-control.

I’ve spotted a fanboy! Now what? Great question. There are surprisingly various approaches to such a person. One method could include brute force. Simply yell at them and insult them until they disassociate themselves from the conversation. This hardly works in a normal environment. Another method is to ignore. As the name suggests, you just have to ignore them. This method is also not recommended for the fact that you will be taunted and your reputation for upholding the well-being of your more favored product may be dismissed. The last common method for the situation would be to publicize the invalid arguments said fanboy has made. This works best because it alerts the fanboy to such problems, and has a chance (to some degree) of making the fanboy lose some edge.

Fanboy’s never really have strong points, and can be discredited with a simple search for some facts supporting your argument. Normally they make points that generally would revolve around “facts” that can only be supported by their personal use. Just search for opposite points, and bring them up in the conversation (if on computer). Any rather large point you bring up will surely send the fanboy into a rabid frenzy, where he or she will constantly berate you and try to make you change your mind.

So basically, if you see a fanboy, challenge them, break them, and bask in your own warmth. It’s a good life not fanboying.